I’m An Extrovert – and I Love Being Alone

I love meeting people and talking with people and hanging out with people.
But I REALLY love being alone.

 Jenny Kaczorowski | WANA Commons

Jenny Kaczorowski | WANA Commons

It occurred to me recently, after a full day of work and spending all my time chatting and meeting and socializing, that there’s nothing better than kicking up my feet and just being by myself and all by myself.

I adore it. I crave it, in fact. See, I find peace in silence and solitude, and use that time to focus inward. To recapture my balance. Some people need to go-go-go all day with anyone and everyone they meet. They need to be with others morning, noon, and night, weekdays and weekends, filling all their time with human interaction and planning events with them.

Nothing wrong with that. It’s just not for me.

Beverly Nault | WANA Commons

Beverly Nault | WANA Commons

As I’m getting slightly older (emphasis on the word ‘slightly’), I’m discovering that there is too much noise around me. Some of it comes from being around people in general, but a lot of it comes from my feeling guilty for choosing not to mingle. My own internal voice that tells me I should meet with this person, I should get together with this other one, I should…well, you get the picture. And, for a while, I thought that maybe, maybe, I was turning into an introvert. But a recent get-together with friends reminded me that, nah, that ain’t happening any time soon.

So why this dichotomy?

copyright Dani Jace |WANA Commons

copyright Dani Jace |WANA Commons

I’m not so sure. I’m starting to wonder if I’m becoming the stereotypic author. You know, the person who sits in front of their computer or notebook any free chance they can get, burrowed in their own world while creating others, because it’s become a drug to them. Writing, for many writers like me, is something you crave. Because it’s a solitary job, I find that I’m also craving alone time. It’s also giving me a stronger sense of peace. It used to be that the idea of being alone was too scary to even imagine. Now? I can’t wait to get outside by the pool on a warm evening and curl up with my laptop. Or, better yet, leaving the laptop behind to just gaze up at the night sky. To enjoy being one with the world and everything beyond it.


What about you? Are you an extrovert that craves solitude, too? Or just someone that loves their quiet, private time? I’d love to know.


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About terriponce

I write about secrets, suspense, and soulmates.
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9 Responses to I’m An Extrovert – and I Love Being Alone

  1. Polly Iyer says:

    I love being alone. LOVE IT! I have to gear myself up days ahead to go out, but when I do, I enjoy it, so I’m not an introvert. Fortunately, people in my house respect my privacy. They know what I do and leave me alone to do it.


    • terriponce says:

      It’s the most wonderful feeling when people realize that writing is important to you and choose to give you your space. That’s when you know they take it seriously too and don’t view it as a hobby.


  2. Barbara Monajem says:

    I like to have people around me, but I don’t usually want to interact a great deal. I don’t mind being completely alone–that has its good aspects–but I also like to be in a place (home or elsewhere) with other people who are minding their own business and letting me get my writing done. 🙂


    • terriponce says:

      Oh yeah. Having people who can mind their own business when you write is a blessing! It took me years to get to that point in my own house, but I finally achieved it!


  3. marilynlevinson says:

    I’m like you. I enjoy being with people, but I love my alone time, too. Writing is a solitary pursuit. But we have our characters to keep us company. And our fellow writers are only a click away on the computer.


    • terriponce says:

      It’s a little scary HOW much our characters keep us company! So maybe that’s the difference. Writers are never truly alone because their heads are always with someone else.


  4. Actually, the term was coined by C.G. Jung, who had a very narrow definition for it: where people get their energy from. If you get a buzz from being with people, feeling energized afterwards, you’re an extrovert. If, however, you need your alone time in order to feel rested, then you’re an introvert.

    Keep in mind that none of us is 100% one or the other; we are all combinations of the two, the term referring to our *preferred* way of resting. It’s a bit like saying you’re right-handed; this does not mean your left hand is useless, merely that you prefer to do certain things with your right one.

    For example, I’m a typical introvert. When I’m tired, I need my alone time. However, I enjoy the company of friends and I’m told I’m pretty good in public. This simply means that I have a well-developed public persona (another one of Jung’s terms that has seeped into everyday vocabulary).

    On the other hand, my friend Thanos needs to go to a public place when exhausted, usually a coffee house or a pub. That’s his way of “decompressing”, and the bigger the crowd, the more the buzz he gets out of it. He, too, is very social, but in his case it’s something that he actually needs; not something he can do without.


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